Each step you take, each breath you make. I make mine too cuz Im Simply In Love With You.

Sunday, 31 August 2008 @ 2:46 pm

last two days was teacher's day.

i had lotsa fun. like for real for real.

i wasnt in school on that day. so a plus plus on that.

then got dressed to brunch with amirah and PAKCIK.

we ate at mcD. chatted and practically thats it. haha (:

smiles.

i met up with my primary school friends at 3.

we made a pact when we were graduating to actually meet up every teacher's day.

and it has been going on eversince. HEARTS them.

we went to e!hub to play pool.

guess what? i improve! thanks Thaqif! (:

there were Thaqif & sister, Faiqah, Hilmi and Qas.

i MISS them man. hmm.

i went home around 9 plus like that.

then i went out again at 12am.

i had a hell loads of laugh with them.

haha. talk talk joke joke.

it was with Haris (miss him), Shamil and Hilmi.

head home at 4 am.

i slept over at my bro's house.

with my babies here, i cant rest.

haha (: wells, my mummy mode is on.

smiles to that.

ps: someday all good things must come to an end. till then i ought to forget every minute i spend with you. and will try to move on with my life. its hard, i know. but i will have to try.

Thursday, 28 August 2008 @ 5:02 pm

what is wrong with me?
my dumbness always get the best of me.
i keep losing my words to speak.
everytime i wanna voice out to something, i just kept quiet.
its as if my mind just went blank!
maybe because i just think too much.
there is just too many things that happened lately.
some of them are funny, some of them are sad and
some of them are just plain mad.

from grandfather to late grandfather.
from best friends to now just friends.
from hard work to now lazy-ness.
from happy me to now think-too-much me.

well, easy to said that shit happened when it happens.

ps: sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything's okay.
hold back the tears and just walk away.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

Thursday, 21 August 2008 @ 8:47 pm

today is the most depressing day of my life.
whew. im trying not to cry while typing this.

my granddad passed away.
at 9:48am, 21st august 2008.
he is suffering from infective endocarditis.
this has got to do with the heart valves.
i find this on the dictionary.com.
hahs.

well, im glad that his soul was taken away without him suffering.
seeing him suffering make me hurt so badly.
i cried and i had many sleepless nights.
now that you are gone leaving us all here to continue our journey.
i will always pray the best for you.
hope u will hold a place in heaven.
im sorry, we're sorry if we have hurt you in anyway.
forgive me and forgive us.

to atuk: i love you and it will never change.
i will always pray for you. (: may god forgive you for the wrong you've done.

so, it has been a depressing day indeed.

Tuesday, 19 August 2008 @ 7:06 pm

hello hello.
as i said in the previous post.
i guess ill be updating once a week.
so here i am again. (: smiles.

these few days, i was having a mixed of emotions.
from super high to happy to depressed.
super high because on 17th august, i met my friends of 11 years of friendship.
yes! they are primary school friends.
my best friend had a party! so yes!
i miss them all. all have change and more grown up.
but! they are still a kid at heart.
and something big happen arhs. and i kinda have a crush on one of them. hehe (:

happy because i finally got to meet my friends on monday.
study! and more study. happy because of other things too!!
guess guess.
but unfortunately, i couldnt see R.
miss you babe!

depresing because of my atuk (granddad).
his condition is getting worse.
everyday i cried thinking of him.
please please get well soon. (:

and today, i finally got to chat2 with my baby, aunty chins (aNa)
we pour almost everything. its been so long and finally today we broke the silence.
i miss u babe!!!

pictures pictures!!

my beloved friends (1)

my beloved friends (2)

me and haris. yes! the guy. (:

the present i made for the birthday girl

my niece from malaysia. Aina!! cute!!

and finally my baby aNa. miss you babe!

basically, thats a summary of the past few days. hehe. nice!

Friday, 15 August 2008 @ 8:21 pm

hey hey.
today was super funny!
went out to ikea.
and i had a lot of laughs with them. haha.
went out with unknown identities (S and A) . haha (:(:(:

yeah! forgot to tell you guys that....
I GOT B3 FOR MY 'O' LEVEL MT!!!!
yay me. and a distinction for my oral. haha.
so, i decided to drop it and concentrate on my other subjects.
i really got nothing to say actually.

F&N coursework is finally done after months of full hard work and dedication to it. (:
smiles. hehe. finally catching up on my science and maths. haha.
i hope ill do well for my upcoming prelims and 'o' levels.
FAT HOPE. but im sure i could do it.

im pretending everything is fine. im putting on a facade.
pretending is not my element but i have to do it anyway.

i will put my blog on hold till at least my 'o' levels are over.
i could only be updating once a week. i guess.
take care till then. (:
BYEEE!!!! smiles. loves.

XOXO.

Thursday, 14 August 2008 @ 1:32 pm

LOVE you guys (: smiles.

lets rewind back the time to 8th August 2008.
spent time with R. had lotsa fun. went to BUGIS library to study.
yes study!! cool. haha.
head to hospital to visit my sick granddad.
to ATUK: please dont say that anymore. it hurts me inside. you are the only closest ATUK i have. so please be strong and well again.

on national day itself. went study with SIS.
we were quiet for at least 2 hours solid. yeah baby! haha
head home and nothing happened.
apologies to Mizan cuz i cant follow you watch FIREWORKS.
i wanted to.

the next day. stayed at home. watch NDP encore.
it was a bore man. this year NDP sucks!

the opening ceremony for the beijing olympics was so much better.
like for real for real lahh.
i was half asleep by the time the contingent head out of the Marina Bay.

Monday. went to hosp again to visit ATUK.
he is still doing the same thing.
dont want eat and want to ***.
please dont do this to us. (:

school was school.
seriously. i am out of words to describe my days in school for the past few days.
especially today. dont know why.
im so fucking pissed of with PAKCIK, G and L.

i hate my life. everything is like going FUCKING haywire sia.

to: my oldest best friends
irritating seyy! please dont make it obvious if you dont want to.
your sarcasm doesnt work for me anymore!
it hurts! yes it does. but i dont care.
you go your way and i will go mine . kepish?
i get it if u dont want to be my friend.
you have showed me your true colours.

to M and R:
thanks for being there when i needed you guys the most. you guys have been the greatest for the past few weeks of my torturing life. thanks! i appreciate it truckloads! i owe you guys loads.
M, you have been so close to me and u mean alot to me although we just knew each other.
Thanks for the good advises! (: love you babe!
R, you have been so nice to me. we have known each other for almost five years now. and i hope it wont stop here. Thanks to you too for the great advises. You are so freaking crazy although you wont admit it. but i know. haha. CRAZY GIRL! (: love you R!! (:

Thursday, 7 August 2008 @ 1:25 pm

today is the seventh day of august.
and trust me! a hell lot of things have happened.
and i HATE all of it.
my day just gets worser everyday.
and i cant stand it any longer!

i just got my heart healed. and now its in pieces again.
i had to pick it up all by myself.
is this fair? you tell me.
it seems that there is no one that actually cares.
now i know.

my mind keeps wandering by itself these few days.
and i dont know where to find it. when i tried to find it.
i get lost! and i dont know how im going to find my way back home.
there is no one there to pick me up. and im all alone.
how am i suppose to overcome this? how im going to find my way back?
i really cant do this anymore.

im so tak terurus.
because of this i kinda lost my mood to study.
but im currently picking up again which is yay me!
haha.

ps: Just when i thought it was safe to come out in the real world.

however, the real world seems so much scarier and wilder

its safer inside than outside

so just keep me lock inside my cage.

Saturday, 2 August 2008 @ 6:54 pm

the fun i had yesterday was not the one i expected it to be. yes! i dance, talk, drink and eat. but i just wasn't feeling it. reach home at 12.30am. first, A was not there with me. second, M was not there too. third, A was not there. A was the one i wanted to spend my whole night with. and he is just isn't there yesterday. that upsets me and it somehow make me mad. i know i cant. and i simply dont know why i make a big deal out of it. many have warned me. but i just wasn't listening. i was listening to my heart. i followed what my heart says. why? why? why? sorry to the people who have given me those advices. truly am. i would also like to thank Mizan and friend for sending me home last night. it was like really late. thanks again. appreciate it truckloads.

ps: everytime i close my eyes, all i could think of is you. everytime i open my eyes, i see you. everytime i smell something nice, i smell you. everytime i hear whispers, i hear you. it hurts me knowing you that u have broke your promise. i feel like i HATE you.